2-Smashing Self-Doubt

2nd of 6 parts

How much self-doubt do I have?

Sometimes so very much.

Sometimes so very little.

It depends on what I’ve challenged myself to do.

How do I address this? I’ve always had to make sure I break things apart in my mind one by one versus jump in to what’s happening around me with too much vim and vigor. When you have can-do enthusiasm – it’s easy to overwhelm yourself.

I’ve learned as I’ve matured to stop, take a deep breath, and break apart what I’m doing into much, much smaller pieces. One decision at a time is my go-to centering place in my work. A creative spirit is awesome, but can become unwieldy fast.

Keeping self-doubt in check is possible because I’m ok with who I am. I know who I am. I like who I am. If I worried about what others feel about me 24-7, I’d be more invested in them and their random thoughts than in the reality and validity of my own directly-lived journey. If I were to do that, it would scatter my attention off in directions likely unhelpful to my own path. How do you view this for yourself? Dwelling here for a while might be useful.

I’m a community-oriented collaborative person, but my sense of self has to be solid and intact for me to be of best use to anything or anyone else I engage in my life – communicating with myself before I take it on with anyone else – recognizing myself in my own choices. That’s the essence of me right there.

Doesn’t it seem like a strange idea – to be worried about everyone else except and often to the detriment of using your own voice? You can be collaborative and still find a way to use your own voice which seems to have a way of assuaging self-doubt. I think sometimes this gets confused. Using your voice is not necessarily about being anti-anyone else. It’s about being fully, wholly you. That’s all. I find some of the kindest most compassionate people struggle with this. Fear of hurting others is real and when you have a big heart – who wants to chance that? I get it. That sacrifice that results, is a self-sacrifice, unfortunately. It’s too easy in this world to wake up one day and realize you’re living someone else’s life. Even when no one necessarily intends for that to happen – it still can.

Trust yourself first. Then you can worry about shifting that seeking outward pointed in the direction of the rest of the world.

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