Boundaries vs. Control

This is such a big potentially confusing idea that affects virtually everyone and can be simplified to a couple of sentences. Boundaries preserve you and provide you space around your experience to be the best you can be. Boundaries are built from your inside out and give you a way to balance and center knowing what will and won’t be good for your life. Control is external and is about you telling someone else what to do. Control is about expecting someone to be something because you need them to be. Control is about telling someone who they are and what they think and feel. Boundaries are healthy. Control is not. People struggle to accept both from us sometimes. Don’t doubt your boundaries. You are worthy of boundaries and setting them is a sign of your strength and ability to honor yourself.

Forget Forgiveness

I’m no fan of the word forgiveness. I’ve wondered if the path to it is a bit like a solo mountain trek on foot. It has breathtaking beauty, but – the plain awful pain of the path can also have you fearing you won’t come out of it intact. Author/Researcher Brene Brown has observed there is grief in forgiveness. I was struck the first time I heard this, because when hurt is deep it can feel like a treacherous trip. Sharp-edged rocks, hard work, people only able to relate from their own vantage point. You feel alone unable to see over the next peak. It’s easy to feel misunderstood, angry, sad, overwhelmed, and generally insignificant. I’ve made some peace with this forgiveness idea – after some deep dark nights. I did it by tossing out the word forgiveness. It’s passed around like something to achieve and I felt a bizarre pressure to try to make simple work of it. It’s...

Look Up

Don’t let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.  -Anais Nin   You have the ability to focus, but there are times setting that aside is wise so as not to dwell exclusively on one disappointing or even crushing moment to shred yourself even more. You can be with something painful, but leave much of the difficulty that surrounds it without definition. Think of it as taking a big sky view and just being with all of life.

Welcome Home

Welcome to a place to be you with me.  I’ll share thoughts about my own experiences – realizations I’ve made about where I have wanted to grow and continue to do so. We are all just people – compassionate words – that can help us reset after pain, suffering, and the confusion the can ensue after life’s most crushing difficulties. We are all in this life together and if we are not here to help each other become healthier and more whole, I’m not sure what our purpose could possibly be. We can live in a state of acquisition and ambition, but will we have been as useful as we could possibly be to those hurting more than we are? It was once said to me many years ago that our only certain good is to help those in more pain than we are. I wonder if that isn’t our greatest good as human beings sharing this...

Every Little Thing

The day the power of love overcomes the love of power – the world will know peace.  -Mahatma Gandhi