So Damn Lucky

Ever sit in the peace and calm of your environment owning your contentment in full awareness you have so much you love in your life, so much possibility, proud of how you have emerged from the storms of life so far that you feel and know you are so damn lucky? I do. I’m an idealist. It’s how I’m built. I’m also highly rational. It keeps life interesting. It offers balance. My perspective is a radically optimistic one. But, I know what it is to lose sight of your joy, to be disillusioned by life, to be world weary. I know what it is to feel there is nothing. I don’t focus on being happy. It’s like trying to catch bubbles in the air.  Ninety-nine perscent of the time, they pop. Happiness is elusive, but becomes an awareness when there’s space for it. I work on all of the other pieces I value around the outside of happiness. My daily goal...

Lessons in Drums & Punishment

This might seem messed up to some people, but it was a punishment incredibly useful to me in the long run. I used to get punished with drum rolls. One of my brothers was an excellent drummer when I was growing up and he still is now. He was 14 when I was born. I started drumming on a trap set at age five and he was my teacher. I’d practice 30–60 minutes a day with him. By the time I was 9–10 years old, I was drumming for stage productions. When he was in college, he’d babysit me sometimes. If I didn’t follow his rules, specifically argue with my little sister (two years younger than me), he’d put me on the drum set and tell me to practice my drum rolls until they sounded decent as my punishment. I remember sitting on the drum throne for what felt like long periods of time in the music room next to our living room calling out to him, “Is that smooth enough yet, Mick?” “Does that sound...

Most Inspiring Moment

There are many. I think of this one often… Two years ago, my 6th grade daughter made her first new year’s resolution and said she was making it happen, “I want to get over my fear of being in front of people and having all of the attention on me. So, I’m trying out for the jr. high talent show.” It echoed in my ears as a cold sweat came over me. The JR….HIGH…TALENT…SHOW. Half of me was elated for her and the other half – mortified. Who doesn’t have at least one brutal jr. hi story? What if her fear only worsened? I got off the topic of ME in my head and said, “Lucy, that’s amazing. How can I help?” She said, “I want to sing a solo.” ….a solo. A SOLO. Did I mention this is the jr. high talent show? Not a lot of kids were taking on a solo, much less mine – a 6th grader in a sea of 6–8th graders and mine was NOT in choir. Add to this, the fact she’d had a fear of public...

Reinvention: Do You Have The Guts?

My nine-year-old son and I have this funny game. I have several little spray breath fresheners around. You know – the pocket-sized – squirt of – what the heck was that – painful burning, but delightfully refreshing mint – kind… I love these things. It started as a simple positive hygiene effort, but has evolved to a tiny reinvention of self every time I walk past one of the things and grab it for a minty mouth moment. I self-assess plenty, but there are limits and I’m not overthinking this one. I just have fun with it…and here’s an example. When my son is nearby when I’m going in for a squirt, I always turn to him and say with my best Clint Eastwood vocal drag…DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS? Liam runs away yelling with his arms flailing in the air yelling – NO! NO! NO! Not that!! We laugh every time at the harmless fun...

Duly Quoted

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: fear of failure.  -Paul Coelho

What Do YOU Know Anyway?

I get it. It’s a question that just makes sense. I can talk about all this kindness and decency stuff and make it all sound easy, but what have I really gone through? Instead of sharing my ‘qualifications’ based on a textured background of many deeply moving and painful experiences in one exhaustive list in one post, I’ll sprinkle some through future blog posts. Allow me to point out something profoundly interesting I’ve experienced. Some people run away when they learn about who you are in what you’ve experienced while others come closer. It’s not about you and your value. It’s about their sense of self and inner strength. It’s ok. Let them go. They are doing you a favor. They aren’t your people from this point forward. Others who are your people will make themselves known in time if you make space for them. Yes, it does...