Duly Quoted

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: fear of failure.  -Paul Coelho

You Go Do You

When people mistake having no boundaries with some type of higher order accepting love, it gives me pause. I had a friend tell me this recently. This person means a great deal to me and basically spelled it out for me.  ..that they will accept someone even with the most profound faults they could have – in essence – unconditional love – because that’s who they are. Ok. But, what is left of you then? Who ARE you then? When does the sacrificing of all you stand for – your values, your spirit, what you show as worthwhile by the thoughtful life YOU have managed to live get crushed by others who get to just do whatever they want knowing they can ‘nice’ you into compliance for their ego needs. You adjust, deal, cope, crumble under the weight of your – what I think is misguided allegiance to the warped twisting of these two...

Knowledge, Understanding, Wisdom

We think we know. When we educate ourselves by whatever means we have – we just seem to think we know things – lots of things – often more than others.  Knowledge is a safety net… …in our own mind. Understanding is next. To know is not necessary to understand much of anything. More than facts go into understanding, but for many people knowledge seems to be all they require of themselves. The reason it seems understanding is imperative is because empathy lives in understanding. It is in combining knowledge with empathy drenched understanding that we can hope to grow wise. Knowledge, understanding, and wisdom are the best hope we have to move forward as the human race keeping in mind mental, physical, and spiritual health. Wisdom is a kind, peaceful friend. But, it’s not cheap. Wisdom might well cost you everything you have…  but when the load is...

Self-Sacrifice Is Not Noble

Why do we sacrifice with the idea it will lead to a higher plain of existence where the most evolved love lives or where we think our extreme giving could actually be recognized for the gift that it is? I’m convinced it won’t ever be recognized and here’s why. I think the type of people who can even recognize that kind of giving are givers themselves and, in their empathy, could never allow you to give at that level – especially for an extended period of time.  They care about you too much. That relationship becomes a give fest of sorts. A person who allows you to give until it emotionally hurts is suspect. If someone loves you, why would they want you to live in that kind of pain? How can someone who loves you want that to happen? If there is a – YES, BUT – inserted here…tread carefully. You are in danger of minimizing, denying, and...

Entitled To Not Empathize

People with a ‘suck it up’ attitude are disappointing. People who live in a world of ‘not my problem’ are demoralizing. People who operate from a place of ‘don’t impact my life with your difficulty’ are discouraging. I’ve experienced more people justifying their lack of empathy than I care to count. But, it’s an odd kind of situation. It seems to me if you feel the need to justify not empathizing, then you kind of feel guilty about it. So, you are, in essence, ignoring your gut instinct to care. Uh oh…guess what the means? You are ignoring your heart’s own best instinct to give compassion. Compassion takes energy – a different kind than many people want to make room for I fear. Compassion has an ambiguity to it. It has an unknowing in it. It is packed with love, but also sadness and a composure to stand strong with...

Shadow Dancing

As a kid, shadows are as good as a toy.  Heck – more than a few of us have fun making shadow puppets on a bedroom wall at night as young at heart types – perfecting hand positioning for a rabbit, giraffe, or crocodile. As a kid, we jump over shadows, we look for them behind us as we walk or run, we engage the shadow with such confidence in where we stand that we move the lights and our bodies to make them look different. But, then we grow up…really grow up. The word shadow can take on an entirely new meaning as an adult.  It can be the things about us we consider the ugliest aspects of ourselves. Shadows can become scary, because our take on them is much different when we are adults. They seem to hold up a mirror to us about our failures, perceived inadequacies, painful memories.  Those shadows can seem to just get bigger and bigger when we refuse to look directly at...