Book Author Question Series
You could be rejected, so why put yourself out there?
Rejected by who? People who only know a pretend version of me? A one-dimensional slice of who I am from a distance?
That mirage of acceptance by people in the limited way I would’ve allowed them to see me would have only pacified me. It’s an illusion of sorts. Given that, I see acceptance as a type of mirage. Not putting my perspective out there in my way means I would’ve allowed smoke and mirrors to keep me from learning and growing and sharing that in the constructive way I’ve tried to do. Sure, I could be rejected, but I could also be accepted for exactly who I am.
It’s like I tell my 14-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son. Stay honest with yourself and truthful with others. Keep those words, thoughts, and actions aligned best you can. Nobody is perfect and it’s not even kind of about that. It’s about recognizing yourself in your choices.
Those who love you will love you for who you are that way. Otherwise, you risk building relationships on pretend versions of yourself and that’s not real connection. When you’re determined to live this way, it gets lonely sometimes. But, the idea is you build the strength you need to persevere in life leaving space for authentic connections when they do present themselves. When they aren’t there, you genuinely enjoy your own company.
Maybe the simplest way to explain is actually to say this: To not use my voice in a way I choose is a type of rejection of self that’s worse than risking rejection from others. I am mine first.
People who don’t like you – in plenty of cases – weren’t interested in liking you and were probably going to find something eventually to dislike about you – what you do or say or whatever. Don’t waste your energy navigating it.
I came across this idea somewhere years ago and operate from it with clarity. 10% of people will love you, 10% will hate you, and the other 80% won’t care – so be you and trust it.
Keep it real. Keep it kind. Keep love in the mix and engage with your own life adventure. You have gifts. What are they?